


A Release of Toxic Masculinity

by holy3cake



Series: The Luke Chronicles [1]
Category: 13 Reasons Why (TV)
Genre: ChalexWeek2020, Cute, Love, M/M, Outside View, Realization, comparison, diaries, envy - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-28
Updated: 2020-07-28
Packaged: 2021-03-06 04:02:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,641
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25567138
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/holy3cake/pseuds/holy3cake
Summary: Watching Alex and Charlie grow closer was a beautiful thing to see, and for one particular jock, it put the world around him into perspective.Luke Holliday has a realization when he watches his favourite couple together.
Relationships: Charlie St. George/Alex Standall
Series: The Luke Chronicles [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1905430
Comments: 15
Kudos: 52
Collections: Chalex Week 2020





	A Release of Toxic Masculinity

**Author's Note:**

> Hi everyone! I’m contributing this little outsider’s view to Chalex week, I couldn’t do day 1 because frankly I know nothing about sports, but it was so good to read everyone’s else’s stories and they were so perfect! Great job to everyone who contributed, I loved them so much! I’m doing this in a 1st person perspective, which I haven’t done for a little while so please go easy on me, hehe. Enjoy!

Dear Diary,

Hey, it’s me, Luke. I haven’t actually wanted to use this stupid journal, ever since Beecher wasted ten dollars buying it for my birthday. But I feel like I have to, because recently I’ve been feeling a little......confused? Let me start from the beginning.

So, I’m Luke, which you already knew. I’m a tall blonde football player, and my favourite thing in the whole world is football. Ever since I was five, I have wanted to kick a ball and hear that roar of the crowd. My dad always cheered at my skills, even for a little kid. When he suggested that I joined the team at Liberty, I knew it would start a new world for me. One that meant I could chill with my friends, play the amazing game, and be a king of the school. But, one thing I didn’t bargain for, was meeting Charlie St George, and Alex Standall.

I met Alex in the school gym when he was doing PT with Zach Dempsey. Zach and I were always close, but I had never seen his friend Alex before. There was no reason for me to hang out with him, my place was always with my best buddy, Diego, and the others on the team. But I was faced with this skinny kid, Alex, who was complaining about his lack of strength. I’d met a guy, who’d supplied me with “substances” in the past, and even though I’m extremely proud of my body now, I couldn’t help but see myself in Alex. So I leaned over and whispered to him, offering up the steroid solution. Maybe I’m not the cleanest football player, but hey, who is? I couldn’t just leave Alex hanging, maybe we weren’t friends but I’m not going to leave a man feeling shitty. But that’s the weird thing, when Alex and I exchanged numbers, we started hanging out, through our mutual body interests. I could see the change in his attitude, he was starting to gain some confidence, and he was really easy to talk to. But then I got busted for drugs, and I didn’t get a chance to speak to him much after that. It wasn’t the last that I heard of him though because Monty never shut up about him.

Monty. That’s one name I wish I could forget, or at least forget his horrific actions. I refused to believe the rumours I heard in the locker rooms, because how could my close friend assault a kid? He was angry, sure, but he had a lot of shit to deal with. I didn’t want to believe the school joke over my beloved teammate, but I couldn’t help wondering. But it wasn’t just the awful rumours, it was his constant jokes about Alex.

“I swear that Alex Standall is a homo.”

“He shot himself in the head and missed. How do you fuck up that shot?”

“Fucking faggot. He’s gay for Tyler, probably takes it up the ass from Zach too.”

These are some of Monty’s most famous quotes, some of which I heard from Charlie, but I heard his homophobic language on a daily basis. Sometimes they were even aimed at me, but I think he was just pissed about my performance on the field. It doesn’t make it right, the fact that he was covering up his sexuality and taking it out on other people. Or so I heard, I’m still not certain if Monty was gay, but he should’ve had some therapy, or something. Kid needed help. Anyway, that brings me to Charlie.

Charlie St George: The openly bisexual quarterback. It wasn’t something I had really considered, until he came out to the team. Some of the guys were surprised, but I barely blinked. So what if he was bisexual, he was a good player and coach wasn’t discriminating against sexuality. So why should we? I never really understood why Bryce Walker was celebrated for being a straight rapist? It was bad enough to rape someone, but to immediately call everyone that was gay or bisexual a faggot? That was too much for me to ever understand, and whilst I comforted my teammates when Bryce died, I never wanted to be led by a rapist or to be deemed a rapist because of one man. Football was supposed to be about teamwork, love of sports and an honest performance. I think the school atmosphere and football team was warped by bad names, making Jessica Davis believe that all we wanted to do was rape girls and run the school. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not an angel. Yes, I joined in on the stupid jokes and culture of the Liberty Tigers, but deep down I know right from wrong. It was Charlie that helped me understand that clearly and remove myself from a sick culture.

It started when Charlie started questioning everyone’s behaviour and pointing out that we were wrong to make jokes about rape. Since most of the football team are straight, it was weird for them that Charlie wasn’t joining in on this stupid joke. But then he stood up on a bench and declared that he was bisexual, and the jokes weren’t funny. He also told us we were being immature pricks, that we needed to change our game if we were ever going to be real men. I always loved that speech because I remember Diego’s words after Charlie left the locker room.

“Yo, Luke. Charlie’s right. I actually have real feelings for Jess, and I know she’s in love with Justin but that doesn’t mean I can’t let her be happy. I think we need to change the dynamic in this school, starting with our team. You in?”

Diego was asking me to help him with a project, made specially for Charlie. Diego had wondered if there was something going on with Charlie and Alex, and I had my suspicions too. But hearing the words “I’m bisexual” spurred us to really root for them. So Diego and I formed a plan, to help these two boys get together. We poked Charlie for weeks after each game, desperate to get information. Eventually he caved and told us that yes, he had a crush on Alex, but it wasn’t worth pursuing because Alex wasn’t interested. They’d kissed, but Alex had told him to leave him alone. I knew Charlie wouldn’t stop though, he’s not the kind of guy to give up on a play, in the field or in a relationship. We continued to root for them, and sure enough, Charlie reported back to us and gave us the great news we always wanted. Alex wanted Charlie too! Success! Damn, I was so happy that day. But the plan wasn’t over just yet, oh no. Charlie asked us for help, and we were only too willing to help!

Step 1: Asking Alex to Prom.

This step was made by Charlie, and the whole football team got involved. We helped Charlie put up posters to invite Alex to prom, but it didn’t work since Alex ignored everything. Then we sat in class, holding up cardboard cut outs of Charlie’s face, with a little sign saying “Prom?” But that still didn’t work. After all our help, Charlie thanked us but said he had his own way that could work. I still wanted to help, but I knew he would have some cute idea. I left with Diego, grinning when he commented on my happiness for them. I’m not afraid to say that I love Charlie to pieces, and Alex is a cool guy. I like them as a couple, and I knew they’d be perfect together. If Alex actually acknowledged Charlie’s invite, Diego and I had a secret plan for prom.

Step 2: Prom Kings!

Charlie had no idea that we’d planned step 2. If he did, he would probably cry. When prom finally rolled around, we went as a team because we didn’t have dates. Sad, but I love being with my boys. I got to prom with a clear goal. Get everyone to vote for Charlie and Alex but do it without them noticing. Luck was in my favour, because they vanished for a little while when I started rallying around the students.

“Hey, can I get your vote for Charlie and Alex? Thanks man!”

“Voting for Charlie and Alex? Good!”

To be honest, I got a hugely positive response. Everyone was already voting for them, but I did have to persuade a few. But my hard work paid off as Jessica announced them as prom royalty. At the point, I couldn’t contain myself and cheered loudly, louder than my friends. Watching them kiss was enough to send me into a fit of squeals, and I don’t think I’ve ever been so happy for my teammate. Charlie and Alex. Alex and Charlie. Chalex? Yeah, I like that name. But anyway, I wrote this entry to get something important off my chest.

Ever since I watched Charlie and Alex dancing together and falling in love, I’ve been feeling strange. I’m really happy for them, of course. But it’s their bravery, their loyalty in the face of toxicity. They said a huge fuck you to Liberty that day, and I feel like a proud brother, of my boy Charlie. I can say wholeheartedly that they are my favorite couple ever.

So I’m here, writing this diary entry to say......I’m fucking bisexual! I love boys and girls, and I’m taking a page out of Charlie’s book to admit it to the world! One day, I want to find my Alex too. I fucking love you Charlie St George and wish you all the fucking happiness you deserve!

Chalex for life! 

_(I just found this on the floor, and I'm so proud of you Luke. -Diego)_

**Author's Note:**

> I hope that wasn't too awful! I tried, lol :) Any Kudos or Reviews are extremely appreciated <3


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